Life is (for once) starting to establish a routine. I have the smallest bladder in the universe lately. This insane pressure and a race to the bathroom only to leave shaking my head saying "thats all," it's pretty lame. I even wake up to pee and stumble to the bathroom--my balance somewhat off at three-in-the morning, when I lay back in bed I have to ignore an immediate urge to pee all over again. Eventually I fall asleep and forget the sensation until I wake around 6 a.m. for the same reason, that and to let the dog out and start the day.
Tomorrow a more relaxed morning, more pets to attend to with my Mom on vacation and her bird here for a visit, we also have Julian in the morning.
Breaking from our normal routine this past week, Julian spent an unexpected weekend with his Mother leaving Bobby and I with terrible withdrawals. We finagled our schedule to push our "weekend" with him to today through Thursday--and then getting him back for the weekend, it will end up feeling like a longer stay than usual :). Today Bobby is picking him up from school and tomorrow I'm spending the day as "Mom" during the annual parent-student garden planting day at his school. The school teacher even inquired when Bobby picked him up that "his wife should definitely join," hopefully that means I seem like the gardening type. I just happened to be browsing the Tomatoes at HyVee Garden Center just prior to his call. I'm excited to be a part of this, I really try and be involved with his teachers even though I'm only in there once or twice a week. I dream of him going to the Little Red House Pre-school in Lawrence, and maybe starting fall that will happen. I'll be home during the day-time and for us it would be perfect. More finagling to come...fortunately we are learning to be flexible and Julian loves all his parents so much that I don't think he cares where he is.
Back to the evenings, I am discovering one of the greatest joys of pregnancy. My already hightenned and lively dreams have taken on a beautiful and surreal imagination so clear that I find myself staying in bed much longer than I should be. They are just so real I could swim in the unique corners created by my newly hormonial mind. Last night I dreamt that Bobby and I were renting this beautiful Gothic Home in Kansas City. I can say from my Art History and Architectural background that when I say gothic, I mean tall, lean, intricate, and with a LOT of light. Gothic Architecture and especially gothic cathedrals had the most stain-glass windows of any architectural period and the more morbid aspects associated with the term "gothic" can only be accountable to the fact that they are known for the pointy arches that have a some-what demonic angle to them. Steep and sharp--that might create the association. For me Gothic design is light and delicate, while balanced and beautiful and this home in my dream was all of these things. It was also a winding masterpiece of rooms and stairwells, 7 stories of dark wood and blazing windows. The space it opened to more bustling and busy than even the streets I lived on in Chicago.
The most amazing thing was living in this time with Bobby, eating cheese and sipping wine while making dinner--in my dream we were not in the place we are now, but rather happily together and back to our nights of dancing around the kitchen in a half-drunken wine gazed love glow. As the people flowed by the many windows that would glance stories below to the street, I marvaled at our luck in finding a place to live that so many people I loved seemed to be passing. I saw so many friends walk by that I've been trying to get together with in my real (awake and pregnant) life. Sarah and Josh and their sweet baby, my friend Kara, even my aunt Leeanne walking by with her son Jack. It was a lovely home and I felt exhilerated. Picture Lemony Snicket with Jim Carey and the topsy-turvy architecture featured there, the home was dazzling and there is nothing I have a love affair with more than beautiful spaces and intricate design. I was in sleeping heaven living in an unusual and unrealistic space that kept me tetured at the top of a rollercoaster of all my favorite things and I could feel it in my stomach.
When I woke up I remembered that today we get to pick up Julian, the puppy was happy to see me, and Bobby told me I was beautiful before I even stumbled from the bed to the bathroom--the real thing was just as great, just more real. I'll miss this dreams and this lucidness at 4 a.m. I am in no rush, for now I'm just looking forward to things to come and to soon enough--meeting our son; Julian's brother.
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